27th Wedding Anniversary

Today is my 27th Wedding anniversary and it has made me think of the last 3 decades and the decisions I have made. I have thought of many wrong decisions (the Bible calls those sins) and the many good decisions. But this morning I started thinking about a decision I made not knowing what the outcome would be, but trusting God in the process (the Bible calls those faith).
I remember distinctly praying and fasting for a two week period about whether or not I should tell Lynn I loved her. She knew that if I said that, I was proposing marriage. I was in California and Lynn was in Birmingham, AL. Lynn was waiting having already declared she was ready to move forward. I just wanted to make sure that the life I had given to the Lord included marrying Lynn and becoming one flesh. It took faith and it was tested. I called her we were pre-engaged and through a number of situations Lynn broke up with me.
Now in my mind, God had lead me to marry Lynn but now it was in doubt. I stayed true to the course for about eight months sending Lynn letters (before texting) and calling on the phone but her parents were not in favor of this potential union and that hurt a lot. I had to determine if God was in favor of it. God worked over time and Lynn moved away from her folks. So I prayerfully wrote a letter saying that I loved her, believed we should be married but you cannot have a two-way relationship with just one person. So I remember saying something like this in the letter, “I have prayed much about this and have come to the place that either I will hear from you quickly that you want to pursue this relationship or have a good life without me.”
She called me quickly and 10 months later we were married. It was one of the best decisions of my life. I shutter to think what my life would be like without my Bride. God has used her so much in my life. He love, rebukes, intellect, parenting ability, but especially her walk with the Lord has been used of God to sanctify me and mature me. Because of her struggles - I have grown. Because of her strengths – I have been challenged. Because of her holiness I have been humbled. Because of her reading my back has hurt from moving all those books!
A principle that James Raiford taught me in Bible College was, “A faith not tested cannot be trusted.” He was right.
But one think I know – every decision Lynn and I have made including starting a new church in Charlotte (which is one of the scariest decisions) is easier because Lynn is my wife and the mother of my children. Thank you Lord and thank you Lynn. I am a blessed man.

Reconnecting

Last year I was criticized for being on facebook, now it seems those who criticized are now on facebook - or their wives are! One great benefit of this social network is that I have reconnected with some of my old youth group from First Baptist Church in Los Gatos, CA. I was there  25 years ago. Our first years of marriage living in a very small apt. and then owning our first home are great memories. Katie was born in Santa Teresa Hospital in San Jose. We had a great time and God did some wonderful things in our lives and in the lives of the youth!

I remember many late game nights with the guys, many basketball games in our driveway - we even had to get the city to reroute the power lines to the house because they interfered with my favorite shot! Lynn one day poured a whole bowl of oatmeal on Cindy Riggio's (now Cripe) head just because Cindy knew Lynn was too polite to do it! The youth helped repaint my home, Steve R. reminded me I "let him" til my yard! He put it this way in a recent facebook note.

It has become abundantly clear as the years have passed how short your time in California really was. As I look back it seemed like you were there for many years than you were, what an influence you had, and if I recall you were quite young as well. Thank you for the time and energy you spent on us kids. I have always been involved with youth since I was able, I give you and Steve Hammond a lot of credit for keeping me on the right track and not fearing scaring me off when you checked me. I am not able to make fun of your accent through words, I miss saying "Pastor Ken", also thanks for introducing me to golf, you have given me years of agony and wasted $$s, and at some level I still play, although I haven't improved much. Your turn, catch me up on your end. Say hey to "Lynn", do you remember the peanut butter sandwiches she made, with homemade bread, Oh and thanks for letting me till your yard, I dont even do my own yardwork, See Ya....

Steve is the one with the red shirt looking back at the camera!

One very memorable event was a "Choir Cruise". We cruised from San Jose to LA in a school bus that broke down on the way home. Jayne, seen asleep in the bus, lead the choir - they were really good, and we visited many churches singing and sharing Jesus. The big idea was for the youth to see how others worship, knowing the they would be spread out in many directions as the years passed. I still pray for these guys and for some I am still pastoring them and being pastored long distance!

For all my friends that have never seen my chin - enjoy the picture!

Read a Wonderful Poem

Read it here or below.

Lost was I in a dark, dark wood. 

Chasing after fireflies that lit up the night. 

I discovered I was all alone 

facing dangers from without and from within. 

Some signs illuminated by the small slit of the moon said, 

"Walk this way." 

Taking small unsure steps I went and did as I was told. 

As the living shadows pulled all around me 

I ended up wondering if the way I chose had been the right one. Hearing noises, 

voices that surrounded my mind with echos of the past,

I guessed that death was slowly, creeping, enveloping my heart. 

How did I get here in this forest of negativity, doubt, despair, and longing? 

I cannot get the shouts of pain from bouncing off the cave that I call my brain. 

Some shout my name, 

some shout others names who I know so well. 

They tell me to listen 

to become this or that, 

in order to get from behind the dark curtain. 

Something deep within, whispers my real name. 

At first it is faint enough only for me to guess what it speaks. 

As I am completely sheltered by darkness, 

the whisperings begin to gain strength. 

I hear a voice struggling to be heard. 

A voice I haven't heard before. 

It gently, caressingly says my name over and over. 

I could not hear it before the agony of death was upon me. 

As I begin in that place of death, 

where before I was surrounded by darkness, 

darkness that I was a part of, 

a melding of me and the darkness, 

no separation. 

The louder I hear the voice and walk towards its music, 

I begin to Be. 

I begin to be separate, 

where death became the beginning of new life. 

Oh how odd real life felt to me. 

I wanted often to run back, 

and often did, 

run back to the old, familiar, dark, dreary woods. 

Comfortable in my misery, I would sit among the ashes, 

reveling in the feeling of old familiarity. 

Once again I would hear a voice whisper my name 

and the ashes would no longer satisfy with their grey, black tones. 

It was the singing I longed for. 

The joyous songs of melody shouting my name, 

delighting in my broken spirit. 

In that darkness I found the true light. 

In the ashes I found life eternal. 

In the broken self I found the God of the Universe delighting in my name, and my being, 

giving Him glory and honor and praise, 

I belong to Him, 

His creation. 

He brought beauty from ashes, 

and from death resurrected life. 

All in the whispering of a name. 

Jesus name above all names. 

"To the one who conquers I will give of the hidden manna, and I will give him a white stone, with a new name written on the stone that no one knows except the one who receives it.

Revelations 2:17

Written by Lynn Cross, my wife!

Lynn is 50!

Rebekah, my 12 year old, remarked today that we have been married more than 1/2 of Lynn's age. (26 out of 50!).

We had a cake, ribs, potatoes, salad , gifts and she surprised me with a gift - she knows she never surprises me on my b'day or Christmas. But she caught me with my radar/sonar down (Big hint). Got me a got a great gift too! She had already bought her gifts  from Amazon.com and in numerous books stores from here to TN!

MANY HAPPY RETURNS OF THE DAY LYNN! I LOVE YOU!